Last month I had my biggest score finding money on the streets. I found my first note, and it was not the lowest denomination either! I was the beneficiary of a $5 note, which begged the question, who is leaving this kind of cash on the sidewalk? The only way to determine who the donor to the Sidewalker Fund was, would be to conduct some CSI type analysis on the crime scene, or as I like to rename it the drop scene. Do I see an opportunity for a spin-off series, Luke Sidewalker staring in DSI: New York? Anyway I digress, let’s get back to recreating the scene, and scouring for forensic evidence.
The time of day was between 8:00 and 8:30 am, I was walking East along 40th Street, there was a noticeable breeze swirling around the concrete canyons of Midtown Manhattan. I felt a dull rumbling in my pocket, it was the mobile hotline to Castle Sidewalker. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket, and conscious of the purposeful strides of the sidewalk sharing pedestrians around me I ducked into a nearby alcove of a building on 40th & Broadway. I will gloss over the contents of the call, because it is not material to the case, but shortly after arriving in the alcove I felt relief from the swirling winds and my gaze turned to the floor. You can imagine my surprise when I saw a screwed up piece of greenish paper, that on further inspection revealed itself to be a $5 bill!
So what conclusions can we draw from this?
1) The bill was screwed up suggesting it had come from a pocket rather than a money clip or wallet.
2) It was found in a wind-sheltered alcove ideal for the lighting of a cigarette.
These two keys facts point to the perpetrator of the drop being a smoker. This is my reconstruction of events on that fateful morning. The perpetrator looks at the clock and sees they have just enough time to go downstairs for a smoke before their heavy schedule of morning meetings commences. They are an experienced smoker and on leaving the building they immediately determine that lighting up in the open will prove to be a fruitless task due to the prevalent wind conditions, they then head straight for the sheltered safety of the alcove. On entering the alcove they already have the cigarette ready, but have not yet prepped the ignition device. Anxious for their nicotine fix they fervently fish around in their pocket for their lighter, on withdrawing the lighter from the aforementioned pocket they unknowingly also dislodge the $5 bill as well. The bill floats to the floor, as the perpetrator executes their lighting up routine. Unaware that the money has been dropped the perp rushes back upstairs to work in a post-smoke bliss.
If ever a story depicted the twin evils of losing money and smoking then this is it! Do you have a better idea of how that money came to be on the floor?
Stop smoking and start sidewalking!
-Luke Sidewalker
-Current balance $33.72
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
That was one expensive smoke.
Why would a smoker roll up a $5 bill? Let’s think. Probably for use when he/she runs out of ciggies.
I think it fell out of the bra of some skinny chick that was suffering from cold-shrinkage and just rolled on out-from-under. Just sayin’…
You make me laugh because I think I’d just pocket it and not think one second about who it may have fallen from.
I bet it was one of those Wall St 1%ers.
Viejatwit – I like where you’re going with that, but it will not win me any favors with Mrs. Sidewalker.
Morgan – There should be a Government health warning on packets of cigarettes: Smoking can make you pockets bleed!
Liz – Glad to have brighten your day…at least a little
99ers – It was a long way from Wall St. but it was windy so you never know…
Thanks all for dropping by,
-Luke Sidewalker
Excellent Analysis. Further investigation would be necessary to locate the “Victim of the Lost Fiver”.
My approach might be more “Poirot” or “Monk” like. Eccentric and Dysfunctional.
Happy Holidays Inspector.
Regards,
Xinfinitum